Destroy your enemies with food!

OK, granted the above is definitely hyperbole…

This isn’t a typical blog post full of motivation..  this isn’t a workout video or new fad in exercise.  This is the guide to destroying your arteries in a single swoop via chocolate.  I had originally made on of these for Xenia and I over Christmas and we managed to destroy it in one day…  I have no idea how many calories this thing is…  This is not going to help you in your fitness journey.  This is the exact opposite.

I made this second batch of brownies for a friend who keeps kicking my ass in Jujitsu (He’s purple, I am only a white belt but he is half my weight and truly talented)…  And while he was nice enough to help me source these ingredients, I was nice enough to return the favor by getting rid of the extra we had purchased sending the completed brownies to him secretly hoping it’ll stop him from killing me (you know who you are Lucas)…

I digress…  Behold the Journey into a single serving heart attack!  behold, the brownies of death!

What you’ll need….

  • one half stick of salted butter

  • One bag of cereal of your choice (we used Kellogg chocolate rice crispies but cinnamon toast crunch is bad-ass too)

  • one container of chocolate syrup

  • one egg

  • chocolate chip cookie mix

  • chocolate icing

  • one bag of chocolate marshmallows

  • one bag of Oreo cookies

  • two tablespoons of olive or coconut oil

  • a strong heart and circulatory system

  • A cheese cake pan or deep cooking dish

Step 1 – sort out your ingredients and have everything accessible.  Some of this is a little time sensitive.  You’ll need a cheesecake pan or something with a little bit of depth…  this is going to get serious

Step 2 – cut the 1/2 stick of butter in half and melt it into a bowl in the microwave

Step 3 – add one egg, the cookie dough mix, and some chocolate syrup along with two or three tablespoons of oil

Step 4 – squirt one metric crap ton (to taste) of chocolate syrup into the bowl

Step 5 – Mix it all up into a cookie dough and then use pam spray to coat the cheesecake pan

Step 6 – put the cookie dough concoction into the pan and spread it evenly along the bottom for the base

Step 7 – put the full package of oreos into the bowl and beat the living crap out of them with a cup or whatever implement of choice until they are small bits and pieces and you no longer have any aggression left in your system.

Step 8 – Pour the cookies on top of the cookie dough mix and add a few splashes of chocolate syrup to help it all compress and caramelize.

Step 9 – In a bowl, combine the package of marshmallows, the other 1/2 stick of butter, and some more chocolate sauce just for good measure…  Gotta keep those veins working..

Step 10 – melt the mix of marshmallows in the microwave for a couple of minutes and then add the cereal to the gooey paste when it comes out.  Stir it well, add some more chocolate sauce (of course) and pour the mix of cereal, marshmallow, chocolate sauce and butter into the top of the pan.  Also top with, you guessed it, chocolate sauce.

Step 11 – place the dish into an oven that has been preheated to 350 degrees and leave it in there for about nine to ten minutes.  Pull the dish out, place it into the fridge to set for half an hour, then use a knife to separate it from the edges around the dish

Step 12 – Ice it excessively with the sweetest gooiest chocolate icing you can find and then place it back into the fridge to set for another two hours.  Voila!  now feed it to your enemies (or just close friends you really like but are sick of getting your ass kicked by) and enjoy your victory!

Calories : all of them

Fat : too much

Carbs : every damn one

Protein : who cares?


By | 2017-12-28T00:18:01+00:00 December 27th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

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